Or actually, my husbands car. Long story short, The Mister took his boss’ Ipass to do some deliveries, and instead of charging the Ipass for tolls, they took pictures of The Misters car, supposedly blowing off the tolls as he sped through them, throwing garbage out the window, texting, licking his own nipple, and what have you. (Gotta keep the post flashy for entertainment sake.)
A couple of days ago, I pick up the mail to see that The Mister has a letter from Imma Gonnegetyer-Money, Attorney at Law. (What’s with “at law?” Can someone explain this to me? What else is someone going to be at Attorney at? It’s a mindscrambler.)
There it is in fine print, three violations from over four years ago, to the tune of $250. Since the state is broke because we’re the only state where the Governors make the license plates for which the Ipass cameras can photograph, these bitches aren’t fucking around when they claim they can screw with your license and/or come and get your car.
I get some lady on the phone, who refers to herself as Miss I Don’t Take No Shit. I figure since she’s the poor, underpaid soul to take these calls where she’s called names that not even Mel Gibson could think of, perhaps more bees with honey could come in handy here.
Miss Don’t Take No Shit was amused as I introduced myself as the woman who cleans up my husbands messes. I also asked her how her day was, how many boo-hoo calls does she get on the daily, and does her boss treat her right with free lunches laced with valium? She told me she gets free food and cash money each time some poor soul calls and begs for mercy.
With that said, how can I not help a sister out?
Though I wasn’t able to do their usual payment plan, I offered up some pity money “in good faith” for this state mandated extortion. Miss DTNS met me half way with a plan that I could manage, and offered up a direct line if I needed “any more help or information.”
I think the all information I want is a receipt that this shizz is paid, and that I don’t ever have to cough up my fun money ever again for something The Misters Boss should have paid for.
So, in the battle of More Bees With Honey, in this case, Bees Won. Buzz buzz!!