Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Suck it, August!

Well, there’s about 9 hours left in the August of Hell, and I look forward to it’s banishment into the back caverns of the deepest, darkest hole of my med-soaked mind.

I’m not going to list out all of the shiteous things that have happened during this crap ass month, because it’s all relative. But I will say this, it’s been a long 31 days, and August isn’t dragging it's sorry ass out of the proverbial bathroom window with any kind of self respect.

Instead, August took a final moment last night to bless my evening walk on the beach with a show of a manhunt in Lake Michigan to attempt to dig up some poor soul who ignored the “no swimming” sign. At first, I thought it was just an over ambitious waste of tax payers money. It’s when the helicopters showed up to search the water, and saw the search dogs take steaming dumps in the sand is when I realized that the noxious, stank-fart that is this August carries on. And on. And on...

So, here’s to fall!! Bring on the cold. Bring on the football. Bring on the cozy sweaters. Bring on my ugly ass, but awesome Hunter Boots!! Bring on hot toddies! Bring on yummy pot luck dinners. Bring on friends and family far and wide, seen and unseen. Bring it all. Just don’t bring any more crap like the past 31 days have brought. If that’s the case, bring on the cash money I need to go see Sheryl, my former therapist. She probably needs the money for some new Prada boots anyway.


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